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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763794">"Not a kid."</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thiam Shorts :) [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Clubbing, Everyone Is Gay, Liam is So Done, M/M, Minor Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Minor Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Minor Lydia Martin/Malia Tate, Partying, Theo is a Little Shit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:34:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and his roommates go to a club, but when the bouncer, Theo Raeken, isn't letting them in, they all come up with a way to get in. Liam's way is slightly different to the others', however. </p><p>(plus there's an important announcement from me)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thiam Shorts :) [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"Not a kid."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, and, well, kind of goodbye! I only started writing as something to do in quarantine, and had always planned to stop around early August. Well, here we are, so this is the end. This whole thing’s been a blast, thank you for having me and being so lovely in my comments, and now please forget everything I've ever written. Love you all, and well, goodbye. </p><p>👋🏻👁️👄👁️👋🏻</p><p>This doesn’t apply to my ongoing story, that’ll be finished over the next three weeks and then I’ll be done with that too.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Liam was fed up. With being single, with his friends, with the weather, with being short, with a lot of things really. But above all, he was fed up with this ‘almighty’ Theo. Fucking Theo with his stupid, stubborn face that Liam wanted to kiss all over- punch. Punch.</p><p>~~</p><p>“Guess what I managed to get?” Lydia flung herself onto the sofa beside her girlfriend with an excited squeal. In her pale, generously decorated hand she clutched a bright purple flyer, and waved it around vigorously to show off to her friends.</p><p>“Not interested.” Malia, said girlfriend, replied curtly, eyes glued to her phone. Lydia pouted and tugged on her flannel shirt to get her attention. Unluckily for Lydia, Malia was used to this move by now, it was Lydia’s go to to be fair, the young woman was rather predictable. Lydia then sighed in mock defeat, carded a hand through her girlfriend’s brown locks and leant closer to whisper something in her ear. </p><p>“I’ll let you top again later.” Lydia giggled as Malia nodded immediately and nearly threw her phone across the room, gathering Lydia in her arms and gently kissing her earlobe. That always worked.</p><p>Stiles pretended to gag from the kitchen were he was stood, surprise surprise, beer in hand. Liam was very impressed by his friend’s alcohol tolerance, Stiles was rarely seen without some sort of alcoholic beverage in hand, yet he never got drunk. Or maybe by the time Stiles was drunk, so was Liam, so much so he didn’t remember Stiles being drunk. Or maybe Stiles was always drunk meaning Liam had never met the sober Stiles. Maybe LIAM was always drunk. Was Liam drunk right now? He hoped not, he was always their designated driver and really wasn’t in the mood to get into a car crash today. Or any day. </p><p>“Can you guys gay later, please.” Stiles groaned, rolled his dark brown eyes, and took a hearty swig from the bottle, very hygienically rubbing his sleeve across his mouth after. Not that it was his sleeve either. It was Derek’s hoodie he was wearing, Derek the boyfriend™️’s. He was all Stiles EVER talked about anymore. It was always ‘beer, Derek, Derek, Derek, the Mets, beer’. Poor, innocent Stiles had really been corrupted, by some guy Liam swore was twice their age. </p><p>“Says you.” Liam chuckled as Stiles glared at him.</p><p>“Says you.” He shot back and this time it was Liam’s turn to glare at him. He hated his roommates.</p><p>“Says all of you.” Scott, the eldest of their little ‘gang’ cut in, and now everyone glared at him. </p><p>“Just because you’re the only straight one here doesn’t mean-“ Malia began before Scott cut her off hastily. </p><p>“Oh no, I’m not straight. Ew.” Scott grimaced. Being straight in 2020? No thank you, Scott was above that. “No, I have a boyfriend, but I’m just the only one who doesn’t make out with them 24/7. Or constantly complain about not having someone to make out with  24/7.” He glanced pointedly at Liam who flushed angrily. He had been single for the grand total of six months now, and his poor heart couldn’t handle everyone’s gay cuteness. And yes, he may be very desperate at this point. He’d date a squirrel if it came close enough. </p><p>“I’m highly offended that you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend Scott. As your token bi best friend, I feel I should know about this kind of thing.” Stiles sulked, taking another gulp of the dark murky brown liquid in the bottle he was clutching. </p><p>“Forget Stiles, details?” Lydia prompted, clearly immensely excited, and Malia sighed, looking back down at her oh-so-interesting phone. She’d never been one for the sappy romantic shit. Neither had Liam to be honest, but he’d had to get used to it due to being best friends with the CEOs of sappy romantic shit: Mason ‘Pet Names’ Hewitt and Corey ‘Heart Eyes’ Bryant. Sometimes Liam couldn’t even bring himself to hang out with them solely due to the fact they made him feel ridiculously single. He was their constant third wheel, and that was why he’d preferred hanging out with his roommates, because he wasn’t the only single one. Well, he was now, now that Scott was dating this new guy. More feeling single, brilliant. He genuinely could never escape it anymore. Even people in chocolate adverts seemed to be getting more action than him. </p><p>“You’ll love him Lydia, he has brilliant fashion sense. Constantly wearing a scarf too, even when it’s like 90° degrees out. Ridiculous.” Scott smiled fondly and Liam’s heart ached. Ok, maybe the sappy romantic shit had grown on him. It’d been six months since Brett had dumped him, and he still had the ridiculous urge to curl up into a ball and cry whenever anyone ranted with that fond annoyance in their voice about the dumb shit their boyfriend/girlfriend did. Liam wanted someone to rant to their friends about the dumb shit Liam did. “Name’s Isaac. Isaac Lahey.”</p><p>“Ugh, I love him so much already.” Lydia squealed, immediately searching him up on Instagram and scrolling through his feed. “And damn he’s hot.” She breathed, admiring his shirtless pictures on the beach, still clad in a wool scarf. Liam had to admit she had a point, he’d let this Isaac guy fuck up his life.</p><p>“Not THAT good looking.” Malia grumbled, still not looking up. </p><p>“You’re a lesbian Mal.” Stiles pointed out, and Malia flipped him off. Liam took it all back, he loved his roommates. </p><p>“So what did you get Lyds?” Liam asked and Lydia perked up even more. </p><p>“Oh yeah! I got my name on the list for this super cool new club. It’s like, really fancy.” She beamed, waving the flyer around so fast that it nearly flew across the room. It probably would’ve hit Stiles square on the nose of it had, and that was something Liam would’ve liked to see. Disappointing.</p><p>“Your name? Just yours?” Scott asked. </p><p>“Well, yeah. But I’m sure they’ll let you guys in as my guests or something.” Lydia explained. Liam doubted that. “So I’ll pick you guys up tomorrow at eight?”</p><p>“No.” Malia grumbled. </p><p>“Babe. I wasn’t asking you, you don’t have a choice.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Can I bring Isaac?” Scott asked, ignoring Liam’s vigorously shaking head. </p><p>“No.” Malia answered, and Liam grinned. His grin vanished when Lydia smacked them both around the head. Damn Mom friends and smacking their friends round the back of the head. </p><p>“Of course.” She smiled and told Scott the name and address. </p><p>“He says he’ll meet us inside, he already has some kind of vip pass apparently. Fucking show off.” He read off his phone, that stupid lovey dovey grin on his face that made Liam’s heart both pound and break simultaneously. </p><p>“If Scott gets to invite Isaac I SO get to bring Derek!” Stiles yelled, for no good reason seeing as they were in the same room, and Lydia sighed, frustrated. As did the rest of them. If Derek came, Stiles would be whisked away at the beginning of the night and not be seen again until the next morning. </p><p>“Sure Stiles. Derek can come.” Lydia rolled her eyes at the whooping young man and turned on Liam. “You coming Li?”</p><p>“Definitely.” He smiled weakly and Lydia beamed, continuing to lay out the details. </p><p>He’d been looking forward to this clubbing ‘adventure’ more when he’d actually had someone to talk to, but now Derek and this Isaac had confirmed their presence, Sterek, Scisaac and Malydia (yes, Liam had come up with ship names for his friends. He may be going mad with loneliness) would be pretty much stuck together all night. Meaning Liam, socially awkward, quiet Liam, would have to fend for himself. Who knows, maybe he’d meet someone special inside this club, they’d fall in love, get married, and Liam would have their babies? Sounded good to him.</p><p>Little did Liam know; it wouldn’t be inside the club he’d meet this special someone. It’d be outside. </p><p>~~</p><p>“I’m. So. Fucking. Cold. Jesus. Christ.” Stiles hissed stiltedly once they’d stepped out the car, Malia’s arm around Lydia’s small waist and Scott’s arm resting on Liam’s shoulder. </p><p>“Language Stiles.” Lydia snapped as they began the trudge to this club in the dark. “Liam’s here.” </p><p>“Ha. Ha.” Liam rolled his eyes. </p><p>Five cold, loud minutes later, the air filled with the high pitched sound of Stiles’ whines, they made it to a wide clearing. There, surrounded by a large, bustling crowd, was a dark grey building covered in neon purple lights. It made Liam’s head pound, the flashing lights, the whoops and cheers of the partyers, and the booming of the horrible, purely trashy pop music. </p><p>“Well? What do you think?!” Lydia squealed, spinning around excitedly and practically trotting away to the front door before any of them had any time to answer.</p><p>“Just be nice to her. For me. Please.” Malia looked exasperated. “Just, just humour her.”</p><p>“We’ll try.” Stiles said, eyeing the skipping Lydia warily. “Yeah, Derek better be here soon or I might actually kill myself.”</p><p>“Lydia Martin.” Lydia announced once they’d all caught up to her, extending a hand out from over the velvet rope towards the bouncer - woah. Holy smokes. Liam had to clamp his mouth shut just to make sure he didn’t drool all over his new shirt. Was this bouncer some sort of angel? Because if that was what angels looked like, Liam had to start making new life choices NOW to ensure himself a spot in heaven. He had a killer jaw line, green eyes dotted with gorgeous hazel flakes, and the silkiest, smoothest brown hair Liam had ever seen. Not to mention Liam had always had a thing for guys in suits, and this guy had just raised the bar dramatically. </p><p>“Of course.” The bouncer scanned his clipboard quickly, nodded, then shook her hand elegantly. Even the way he just shook hands made Liam nearly keel over. “Right this way Miss.” He winked, smiled, ugh his smile was gorgeous, and unhooked the velvet rope, letting a beaming Lydia pass. Before any of them could follow, the rope had been clipped back in place and Lydia looked confused. </p><p>“I’m sorry Mr?” she asked politely from the other side of the rope. </p><p>“Theo. Theo Raeken.” Hmmm. Liam Raeken could work, right? </p><p>“Theo, sir, sorry, they’re with me.” She explained carefully, but Theo just smiled, a nearly evil smirk spreading across his stubbled face. </p><p>“They’re not on the list, they’ll have to wait.” Theo shrugged, standing tall with his back to a conflicted looking Lydia. Malia looked ready to rip his face off, and Stiles was already scanning the premises. For either beer, or Derek, Liam couldn’t be sure.</p><p>“Lydia, just go,” Scott noticed the crestfallen look on their friend’s face, “We’ll be in soon, and you can start looking for Isaac.”</p><p>“You sure?” she said, “I’m happy to wait.” Didn’t look like it, but Liam knew it was just Lydia being her normal sweetheart self. </p><p>“Jesus christ Lydia just go already!” Liam laughed, and Lydia grinned. </p><p>“Meet you guys by the bar!” she yelled as she swung open the doors, they were hit with a blast of hot air that reeked of alcohol and an even louder wave of music, and then she was gone. And then they waited. And waited. </p><p>-five minutes later-</p><p>“Let me in.” Malia snarled at the bouncer, for the seventh time, eyes blazing. They were all freezing to death now, and Liam, Scott and Stiles were sat in a body heat conserving circle on the cold, hard ground, earning them a nice blend of dirty and concerned looks from clubber and bouncer alike. This Theo guy was starting to get decidedly less attractive and more annoying. Ok, fine, he was still just as attractive, but he was getting on everyone’s nerves at this point. Even the very tolerant Scott. And that was VERY hard to do. </p><p>“Name’s not on the list honey.” Theo smiled, clearly enjoying holding such power. “Is someone missing their girlfriend?”</p><p>“That’s none of your business.” Malia snapped, but Liam could tell she was. They were so cute, Liam loved it. He had to admit he had had his doubts about Malia when Lydia had first dragged her to one of their… interesting house parties, the woman had turned up wearing the shortest shorts Liam had ever seen, he hadn’t even been sure if they counted as shorts at this point, and she’d drank at least twenty shots in the span of thirty minutes. But now, well Liam thought of her as an older sister. And he was the number one malydia shipper, as sad as that sounded.</p><p>“Now, let me in before I shove your precious clipboard so far up your ass you can’t walk for days, and then laugh as you writhe around in pain.” She threatened, smiling sweetly as Theo just chuckled, shaking his head slowly as he laughed. Liam wouldn’t have been laughing if he was Theo, he knew Malia wasn’t joking. She most likely would do exactly that. </p><p>“Ooh, finally someone with a bit of spine. I like you.” Theo looked her up and down slowly in that made Liam’s insides flutter. Good lord he was an annoying bastard, but Liam would’ve married him in a heartbeat. “Right this way Ma’am.” He let a smug Malia through, and seconds later she was gone, leaving just the guys. </p><p>“Hey Mr. Theo?” Stiles stood up, stalking over confidently to the man, swaying ever so slightly. Scott put his head in his hands, and even Liam knew where this was going. Oh lord. He had to stop himself from laughing hysterically at how ridiculous this looked. Theo towered over Stiles, arms folded and clipboard shoved under his armpit, he made Stiles look around five. He was also like, ten times the size of him, Stiles was probably skinner than Theo’s left arm. It was hilarious.</p><p>“Yes, Mr. Stilinski?” Theo sighed unenthusiastically; he’d managed to learn their names by now. </p><p>“How about you let ME in before I shove-“</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“What?!” Stiles sputtered. “That was totally intimidating!” </p><p>“Sure.” Liam laughed from where he was sat besides Scott, who was wheezing, bright red.</p><p>“You too Li? Disappointed.”</p><p>-ten minutes later-</p><p>“You’re a horrible person, you know that right?” Liam sighed, glaring at Theo. The dick had let like, twenty people go in in front of them and Scott and Stiles were practically spooning to stay warm. Liam would’ve been tempted to join in if Theo hadn’t been there, spooning sessions were his jam. </p><p>“Names aren’t on the list, and no matter how pretty you are little guy,” He winked and Liam flushed angrily, he wasn’t THAT short, “can’t just let you jump the queue.” </p><p>“I’ll buy you a beer?” Scott offered lamely from the floor. Theo nodded slowly, clearly deep in thought, eyes twinkling. </p><p>“Sure.” Theo smirked, looking pointedly at Liam and Stiles, eyebrows raised patronisingly. “See Stilinski, Liam, kindness does pay off.” Stiles scowled as Scott gave them an apologetic shrug and slipped away to meet their friends inside the club. Theo continued his taunting.</p><p>“Always buy the dick a beer, and who knows, maybe he’ll go home with you. Hey, life lesson there kid, pay attention.” He aimed the last part at a fuming Liam, who was considering tackling the man to the ground, if only it wouldn’t crease his gorgeous suit. It was dark grey, sleek and without a wrinkle in sight. </p><p>“Not a kid.” He grumbled, cheeks cherry red. </p><p>“He needs it. Poor guy’s hopelessly single.” Stiles ruffled his hair playfully, and Liam swatted away his hand. </p><p>“Stiles!” He indignantly yelled. Not in front of Theo please. </p><p>“Really?” Theo looked him up and down similar to the way he had done Malia, and Liam’s heart somersaulted wildly. “Guess he is kinda young to be dating.” Liam now actually had to restrain himself from tackling him to the ground. </p><p>“I hate you.” </p><p>“Strong words kiddo. Parents never tell you it’s politer to use ‘dislike’?” </p><p>“I’m actually gonna kill you when I regain the feeling in my limbs.”</p><p>-half an hour later-</p><p>“Derek!” Stiles squealed as a dark figure emerged from the car park, Liam was in no way, shape or form surprised at the fact the older man was clad in a shiny leather jacket. Edge lord. </p><p>“Hey babe.” Derek smiled, a rare sight, and kissed Stiles quickly before hugging Liam uncertainly. Liam liked Derek, sure, but he had to admit to being… slightly scared of the guy. What? He was terrifying, and way out of Stiles’ league. </p><p>“Hale?” Theo asked incredulously as the bouncer caught sight of the man’s face. </p><p>“No way, Raeken?” Derek grinned, before going over to clap a beaming Theo on the back. Stiles’ jaw dropped. “How are you?”</p><p>“Good yeah, you?”</p><p>“Fine. Dating this scamp, but apart from that, fine.” Derek slid his hand round a furious Stiles’ waist. Theo looked remarkably taken aback. </p><p>“You, Derek Hale, are dating him?” He blinked furiously, as if he was hallucinating. Liam didn’t blame him; he’d had a hard time believing it too at first. </p><p>“Yes. Yes he is.” Stiles said, tilting his chin up defiantly.</p><p>“Well, you’ve always had a bad taste in guys Der. Have fun.” Theo laughed, letting them step past and into the pulsing building, Stiles shooting Theo a haughty glare as they walked away. </p><p>“You’re friends with that douche?” Liam swore he heard Stiles ask Derek as they walked away. </p><p>“I’m dating a douche, what makes it so hard for you to believe I’m friends with one too?” Derek’s gravelly voice sounded in response and Liam chuckled inwardly. The guy had a point. </p><p>-another five minutes later-</p><p>“You’re really just going to keep me here?” Liam scowled at Theo, there was no one else outside now, and the wind whistled around the empty car park eerily. If Theo didn’t let him in soon, he was just going to go home honestly. He had no inclination to wait hours just to be let in and sit alone drinking all night. At least out here he had Theo for company, no matter how fucking annoying he was. </p><p>“You look a tad too young to be clubbing champ.” Theo smirked. Liam wanted to beat his gorgeous face to a bloody pulp. “Don’t want to get in trouble with the higher ups.”</p><p>“I’m like, the same age as you dick. Don’t call me ‘champ’.”</p><p>“What do you want me to call you, baby blue eyes?” Theo pinched him playfully as Liam flushed bright red.</p><p>“No.” Liam snapped. </p><p>“Well someone’s grumpy. Not had your daily nap?” </p><p>“Fuck you.” Liam snarled, “Please, just let me in.” He said as he flung his arms around his torso to keep his body temperature stable. Stiles hadn’t been wrong when he’d said it’d been freezing, Isaac must be grateful for wearing his scarf today. Then again, he was inside the warm building and Liam was stuck outside with Theo. </p><p>“Awww, are you cold?” Theo taunted. Liam shoved him. </p><p>“Yeah. So would anyone else be. How the hell are you not freezing your ass of?”</p><p>“Cold doesn’t bother me.” Theo shrugged. </p><p>“Ok Elsa.” Liam sniggered and this time it was Theo’s turn to scowl. </p><p>“Not really helping with the whole ‘me letting you in’ thing.” </p><p>“Please?” Liam sighed, trying again. He at least wanted to get to meet this Isaac tonight, and watch Stiles inevitably be over protective. </p><p>“Let me think….. hm… no.” Theo put his hands on his hips comically and Liam, as hard as he tried not to, let out a high pitched giggle at how ridiculous this was. Theo’s eyes sparkled as he looked down at the snorting Liam, and his lips quirked upwards in a weird, more genuine smile. Liam liked it. </p><p>“I’ll do anyyyyything.” Liam moaned, tugging on Theo’s sleeve like a child asking their parent for sweets at the cinema. </p><p>“Anything?” Theo’s eyes glinted mischievously, and Liam gulped. Yes, because he was scared, but also because Theo’s eyes were possibly the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. </p><p>“Sure.” He puffed out his chest proudly, almost daring Theo. Bad idea. </p><p>“Sing to me.”</p><p>“What? No!” Liam sputtered, chest falling immediately. There was no way Theo was serious. </p><p>“Oh yeah. I’m totally serious.” So Theo could read his mind, that wasn’t great considering how much he’d thirsted over Theo internally. </p><p>“I’m not singing to you.” Liam shook his head vigorously. </p><p>“Well then you’re not getting inside.” Ok then, Liam cleared his throat, he hated this guy so much. </p><p>“Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are?” Liam offered croakily and Theo looked like he’d just witnessed a murder. </p><p>“Voice of an angel hun.” He managed to squeeze out, and Liam’s stomach flipped at the use of hun.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Well then choose something else. Something I can do.” Liam prompted, and a wide smile spread across Theo’s face.</p><p>“Kiss me.”</p><p>“WHAT?”</p><p>“Don’t you want to get inside baby blue eyes?”</p><p>“Well, hell.” Liam muttered, and then, well, he didn’t have time to speak.<br/>
~~</p><p>“Hey babe, can you see if Liam’s still outside?” Scott asked Isaac from inside, having to shout over the music. Isaac nodded and walked over to the door, peeked out, smiled and walked back over to his friends. </p><p>“He is, he’s making out with the bouncer.” Isaac grinned. </p><p>“WHAT?!” His roommates choked on their drinks. </p><p>“Oh dear god.” Stiles put his head in his hands. “Just brilliant.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was fun to end on, I don't actually ship sterek, scisaac and malydia, but I don't hate them, and after reading a malydia fic, I wanted to experiment. though for me, stydia, scalia and thiam will forever be my teen wolf ships.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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